As it is, dating these days is like walking through a minefield. They’ll get the “ick” the moment you make a move that is not appropriate. Flirting doesn’t have to be a performance. We’ve all witnessed the self-absorbed attempts to get dates and the awkward come-ons that don’t work. So, what actually works? We’ve broken down the absolute worst ways to approach someone, paired with the genuine, psychology-backed methods that women actually appreciate. Let’s upgrade your game.
The Worst: Unsolicited Inappropriate Pictures
One of the quickest methods to get blocked is to send out explicit pictures without asking. The behaviour is aggressive, totally disrespectful and it immediately shows that there are no boundaries. It does not evoke attraction, but it makes the other person uncomfortable and makes it impossible to reach out in a real way.
The Worst: Backhanded Compliments
Rude treatment and degradation of a woman in order to make her feel worth less and need your approval is an outdated tactic from the book of picking up girls. Women know exactly what this is and they can see through it.
The Worst: With Cheesy Pickup Lines
Saying “no” and “negotiating” it is a big no-no. In the real world, persistence is the opposite of romance and is exhausting and beyond bounds. Respecting her initial rejection is more character than to push her to change her mind.
What Works: Active Listening
The best thing you can do is take the time to really listen to her. Don’t just listen, ask intelligent questions afterwards. Shows empathy, sets up rapport, makes her feel valued, seen.
What Works: Respectful Eye Contact
Eye contact is intimacy without any words. Demonstrates self-assurance and attentiveness. Just be careful though to periodically avert your gaze and make it a friendly look, don’t let it become a threatening stare! Comfortable, engaging space is key to balance.
What Works: True and Targeted Praises
Avoid the cliché comments about her body. Instead, acknowledge a facet that she has control over, such as her distinct sense of style, her hilarious laugh or something she just shared with you that was interesting. Specific praise really sounds more genuine, more personal and much less objectifying.
What Works: Shared Humor and Playfulness
Ruddy humor and teasing up to a point is a great method to flirt. You can break tension by making her laugh if it is a true laugh. A shared joke fosters a secret code and proves you’re not serious about yourself.
What Works: Leaving on a High Note
A good flirting leaves her wanting more. Don’t let a conversation perish, but rather, politely excuse yourself while the energy is still great. It’s a huge confidence move to give her your number and gracefully walk away from it and takes all of the pressure away.
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